How or where do you hold your stress?
For me, its my feet,
shoulders and upper spine. My bones feel like they are crumbling,
they probably aren't, that’s just how they feel! And its ridiculously painful!
So where is it for
you? What is that place or those places that hurt the most whenever
you become seriously stressed?
More importantly,
what do you do about it?
In the past, I
ignored it and hoped it would go away, but the pain was just too
much. Eventually, those around me helped me to reduce my stress by
pretty much forcing a change of situation on me! This was partly
because I would procrastinate – why do today what I can put off
until next week – and partly because I didn’t know how to
deal with my stress, or that I even could deal with it.
Is that the same for
you? That you don’t know how to deal with the stress, or that
you’re just too tired from it all, or that you’re happy putting
off what you can do today until next week??
That last option
isn’t exactly a healthy one! But if that is your choice, then OK!!
(Just so you know, you don’t have to live like that.)
If you’re tired
from it all, I hear ya! Stress wears you down. It wears you out. I
get that, emotionally speaking, you may not have the energy to change
or deal with whatever is causing you stress! I get that. Really, I’ve
been there! You just wanna walk away from everything. You just wanna
lay down and sleep, but sleep is not refreshing. Life gets like that
sometimes.
The other option is
that you, like I was, don’t know how to deal with it. Where on
earth do you start with this stuff? The feeling becomes overwhelming,
and a swamped sinking feeling kicks in. Yep, I get that too! It’s
never fun.
OK, time for
something a little practical… Just cause, why not!!
So you’re tired –
what do you do? Here’s an idea – do you have one person you can
delegate to? Here’s hoping you do! Delegate a task or two! Reduce
your load!
You’re living on
your own, no one to delegate to? Damn… that is a little harder. But
not impossible! Start of with your daily tasks – what needs to be
done now, later, whenever? Priortise!!
I actually employ
this little thing called denial – I know, I know – denial is a
bad thing! Right? Is it? If utilised in the right way, denial could
actually help save your sanity. Denial needs some very very strong
barriers, or it can get out of hand! So only try this if you think
you are able to go toe to toe with denial!
How this works –
you have only so much energy, and a massive task list. After
prioritising your top 3 tasks for the day, you use denial to deny
that all your other task on that list exist, for that day only.
That’s the key here. You are only using the denial to stop you from
overdoing things for today only. Tomorrow, you need to recheck your
list, get your new top 3 and do it all over again. My suggestion
here, take one task that is a daily task, one task that is weekly and
one task that has been waiting for longer than you can remember!
O – if that is too
much (which for some it is way too much) take one task and break it
into sections. An example of this. My family went away for a week, I
had the dishes to do, (for energy reasons I had left them for a
couple of days), to get them done, I broke the task into chunks. Cutlery. Plates and glasses/mugs. Pots/pans. And though that day I
did nothing else, the dishes got done! And I stacked them to dry on
their own… Sometimes one task needs to be done but it is huge, so
you need to not put it off, but break it into smaller parts.
There are lots of
situations that cause stress, so do people… I have one of those!
That stressful
person that keeps ringing you and asking you to do stuff for them?
Here’s an idea! Stop answering your phone - if you can, get a
really annoying ring tone specifically for them, save their number in
your phone, assign that tone to them and when you hear it ring,
you’ll know its them. Instead of swiping the green answer call
button, learn to swipe the red ignore call button. The world will not
stop if you ignore them for a day or two… Their world may fall
apart without you, but that is their problem, not yours.
Sometimes that
annoying person needs to be spoken to. The one I have calls me for a
reason. And so instead of ringing him back, I wait to a time that
suits me, and I either text or email him. I do this so I can actually
ensure that I am polite, and I cover everything that needs to be
covered! It saves on communication, effort and energy.
You need to learn
that you teach people how to treat you. So if you regularly roll over
and play dead, then they will learn to treat you like a floor mat!
OK, so back to
working on if you’re tired – ask yourself, is my tiredness a
physical thing from a lack of sleep? Or is it an emotional thing from
too much stress?? There is a difference! If its from a physical lack
of sleep then you need to work out why! What is going on for you as
to why you are not sleeping?
Answering these
questions will help you understand your situation better. And over
time, your answers will change!
NOTE: if it is a
physical lack of sleep. Going to bed and attempting to sleep may just
add to your stress and frustration. Sleep is not something that you
can force. And I do not agree to swallowing tablets to induce sleep.
The point is to examine the situations when you do get sleep. Examine
the situations when you don’t get sleep and understand whats going
on for you!
If it is an
emotional tiredness, again, exploring that (a little at a time) will
help you work out ways to make small changes that will help reduce
that tiredness.
For me, my tiredness
is both physical lack of sleep and emotional issues, due to ongoing
health crap.
So I can’t change
the health stuff – or can I?? That realisation, for me, was a
breakthrough in the emotional department.
That little question
of or can I?? can lead to a revelation, a new perspective, new
ideas!
For me that question
lead me to researching gut health and how to improve it; herbs –
the good, the bad, and the what the hell is that!!; exercise;
sleep; meditation (mindfulness) and a pile of other things. That
question has lead to some lifestyle changes for me!
It can do the same
for you!
Have you noticed
that I’m asking a lot of questions – its what I do! Because answering these questions brings new awareness, awareness brings
change, and change can be beneficial! So the questions really need to
be answered. And some are harder to answer than others! I’ll
acknowledge that, because it is true!
Take the question of
why am I not sleeping? You
could shrug your shoulders and say I dunno!! Or you could begin to be
a little honest! I have my phone beside my pillow and I look at
facebook at 3am every morning.
Stop
there – unpack that. Why is your phone beside your bed? Why are you
awake at 3am? Why are you surfing facebook?
Do
people call you at 3am? No! Then maybe you can leave the phone in the
kitchen or lounge room!
Is
it that you’re awake at 3am because you’ve got yourself a little habit?? Why facebook? There’s better things you can spend your
time doing! Can you stop yourself surfing or has it gotten to be more
of an addiction?
Answering
questions leads to insight! Insight leads to understanding!
Understanding leads to change, self-betterment.
To
get insights, you need to be honest with yourself.
OK,
so in your exploration if why you are stressed, you’ve discovered
that you lack the ability to say no, or you found that you
self-sabotage with procrastination, or you’ve discovered that you
may be wrestling with some form of addiction. You can get assistance
with these. Honest!
If
something here clicked with you and you found that you need a little
help to get where you want to be, don’t hesitate in contacting me.