Do you want to get well?

…One man there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus saw him lying there and realised he had already been there a long time. “Do you want to get well?” He asked.“Sir,” replied the sick man, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am on my way, someone else goes in before me.”…

The question of "do you want to get well" is often laughed at - who wouldn't want to get well?

But it is a little more complex than that.

This question could be asked "are you ready to give up your payoffs, balance mechanisms and risk change or even criticism from your family or friends in order to get well?".

What's the mans answer? "I have no one to help me!" Why wasn't his answer "yes"? Why isn't our answer "yes"? Is it because we want to maintain the status quo in our family and getting well would upset the apple cart, throw things out of balance, cause too much pain or disturbance? Are we afraid that it will bring more harm that would outweigh any good that may come of it?

Reading further on the story, the man did get healed, but that caused all kinds of trouble!

The point I'm making here is that we need to be certain that we want to change, and have sufficiently braced ourselves for the onslaught that may come.

For me, I've been making changes in my life, yet, when I spend time with my mother, she expects me to be and behave how I used to. And because I am learning how to be me, not my mothers clone, it causes issues. One of those is that she then refuses to speak to me for months at a time. This is just one consequence of me wanting to be me, a better, nicer, less abrupt, calmer person.

I read this statement somewhere - reasons make a man seem reasonable, yet keep him locked in unreasonable (and may I add, dysfunctional and possibly destructive) behaviour.

Yes, it is downright scary to look honestly at your life and decide that it needs to change. And it is hard work to embark on the road to change. You may not have any supporters either. Don't let these things stop you.

If you want to find the real you, learn to be relaxed in your skin and be friends with the one in your skull, then I highly recommend walking the hard path of change... If you want help and guidance then I can possibly help you, or at least point you in the right direction!

So, do you want to get well?