Good news! Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy is now on Skype.
This means that you can now have sessions with me via Skype, so it no longer matters where you live!
Skype sessions will run just like sessions in the therapy room, for an hour, and they will be billed at the same rate as sessions in the therapy room.
You can find me by using the Skype search and searching for Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy, or by searching for the email address contact@sanctuarycounsellingandconsultancy.com.au.
Tuesday, 23 January 2018
Saturday, 20 January 2018
Procrastination
I've been doing some research on procrastination, and I can't tell you how many websites I found that will tell people how to "cure" their procrastination. I wish it was that simple. But it's not.
It is far more than get a diary, make a "to do" list and just do it! If that was the answer to this problem then there would be a lot more constructive people and a lot less frustrated people in the world!
It has been my experience that there is a number of issues at play in the life of the person who procrastinates!!
Let me just stop here a second. There is a lot of websites where the person who procrastinates is called a procrastinator. I find that very unhelpful and in some cases down-right hurtful. Is labelling a person going to help them? I doubt it!
Is procrastination a condition? I don't think so, if it was, wouldn't that make it easier to treat? You go to your doctor and explain that you think you may be suffering a case of procrastination and they ask a few questions then write you out a script telling you to take two tablets twice daily and after a week your symptoms should be gone and you'll be back to your productive self again! It sounds a little far fetched!
My thoughts on the subject...
I believe that there are many reasons why people procrastinate:
1. They believe that they have plenty of time to get the task done, so they can continue doing whatever it is they are doing.
2. They don't enjoy the task or don't see the point of the task.
3. They simply can't be bothered doing the task that needs to be done.
But what about the person who puts off doing something because they are afraid?
What if the person has put off doing something because they feel inadequate, or incompetent?
If solving the problem was as simple as making a list and doing everything on that list then procrastination wouldn't exist.
I have a thought about why people procrastinate. That is that there is some underlying issue going on.
Ok, some procrastinate because it is a habit they have formed, and others have enabled that habit, and now it rules their lives. Others procrastinate because "it's better than doing the task". Others simply can't be bothered, so vegging out will take place over the completing of the task.
But when you look honestly at these - you'll see clearly that they are all excuses. "I did this instead of doing that because I don't like that" is an excuse.
If only ditching the excuses was easy and solved every case of procrastination.
Ditching the excuses requires honesty, brutal honesty. It also requires extremely hard work, persistence, tenacity, determination, a touch of stubbornness, and perseverance.
Feeling inadequate or incompetent are a little harder to deal with. Inadequacy has to do with your self-worth and your identity and dealing with this may require help. Feeling incompetent may require some encouragement or education. Simply learning how to do a task will make doing it much easier. Having some help with the task will also make it much easier. Being brave enough to say you need help is going to be your biggest hurdle there.
What if the procrastination is due to an underlying medical, emotional or mental health issue? To deal with the procrastination these issues will need to be dealt with.
Let's go back for a second to the belief that there is still enough time to get the task done... This one is interesting. It involves the person lying to themselves. They are lying because they believe that the added stress of getting the task done at the last minute will help them. But stress causes its own issues.
Part of the procrastination issue is an underlying belief that the task isn't worth the time or effort it requires, or that it simply doesn't have a high enough priority.
It's interesting to hear people's reasons for not getting something done."I forgot". "I was too busy". "It wasn't possible to do it in the timeframe given"."My dog ate my homework"!
How many of those excuses seem legitimate? Yet how many of them allow a person to procrastinate? And how many of them state that the task at hand didn't have a high priority for to task doer?
My conclusion that I came to in dealing with procrastination was that you need to not give a diary or "to do" list to a person, but rather, look at the underlying excuses and priorities of the person. Assess the situation and see if there is anything they need help with, are there any mental health or physical health issues that need to be sorted? And lastly, does the person see the need for the task in the first place?
I procrastinated on doing my homework in high-school because I didn't see the point of doing it! (I still don't see the point of homework for school students.)
Some websites that I have looked at (and here I wish I had kept track of them all) have said that they think that procrastination is a mental health issue. I sort of agree, in that for some it is the result of a mental health issue, but I don't believe that procrastination is a mental health disorder in and of itself.
I plan on doing more research on this matter, because it seems to be something that comes up a lot, and a lot of people struggle with it.
If you are one of the many people who struggle in this or other areas of your life, please don't hesitate to contact me, I may be able to help you or I may be able to refer you to someone better suited to help you.
It is far more than get a diary, make a "to do" list and just do it! If that was the answer to this problem then there would be a lot more constructive people and a lot less frustrated people in the world!
It has been my experience that there is a number of issues at play in the life of the person who procrastinates!!
Let me just stop here a second. There is a lot of websites where the person who procrastinates is called a procrastinator. I find that very unhelpful and in some cases down-right hurtful. Is labelling a person going to help them? I doubt it!
Is procrastination a condition? I don't think so, if it was, wouldn't that make it easier to treat? You go to your doctor and explain that you think you may be suffering a case of procrastination and they ask a few questions then write you out a script telling you to take two tablets twice daily and after a week your symptoms should be gone and you'll be back to your productive self again! It sounds a little far fetched!
My thoughts on the subject...
I believe that there are many reasons why people procrastinate:
1. They believe that they have plenty of time to get the task done, so they can continue doing whatever it is they are doing.
2. They don't enjoy the task or don't see the point of the task.
3. They simply can't be bothered doing the task that needs to be done.
But what about the person who puts off doing something because they are afraid?
What if the person has put off doing something because they feel inadequate, or incompetent?
If solving the problem was as simple as making a list and doing everything on that list then procrastination wouldn't exist.
I have a thought about why people procrastinate. That is that there is some underlying issue going on.
Ok, some procrastinate because it is a habit they have formed, and others have enabled that habit, and now it rules their lives. Others procrastinate because "it's better than doing the task". Others simply can't be bothered, so vegging out will take place over the completing of the task.
But when you look honestly at these - you'll see clearly that they are all excuses. "I did this instead of doing that because I don't like that" is an excuse.
If only ditching the excuses was easy and solved every case of procrastination.
Ditching the excuses requires honesty, brutal honesty. It also requires extremely hard work, persistence, tenacity, determination, a touch of stubbornness, and perseverance.
Feeling inadequate or incompetent are a little harder to deal with. Inadequacy has to do with your self-worth and your identity and dealing with this may require help. Feeling incompetent may require some encouragement or education. Simply learning how to do a task will make doing it much easier. Having some help with the task will also make it much easier. Being brave enough to say you need help is going to be your biggest hurdle there.
What if the procrastination is due to an underlying medical, emotional or mental health issue? To deal with the procrastination these issues will need to be dealt with.
Let's go back for a second to the belief that there is still enough time to get the task done... This one is interesting. It involves the person lying to themselves. They are lying because they believe that the added stress of getting the task done at the last minute will help them. But stress causes its own issues.
Part of the procrastination issue is an underlying belief that the task isn't worth the time or effort it requires, or that it simply doesn't have a high enough priority.
It's interesting to hear people's reasons for not getting something done."I forgot". "I was too busy". "It wasn't possible to do it in the timeframe given"."My dog ate my homework"!
How many of those excuses seem legitimate? Yet how many of them allow a person to procrastinate? And how many of them state that the task at hand didn't have a high priority for to task doer?
My conclusion that I came to in dealing with procrastination was that you need to not give a diary or "to do" list to a person, but rather, look at the underlying excuses and priorities of the person. Assess the situation and see if there is anything they need help with, are there any mental health or physical health issues that need to be sorted? And lastly, does the person see the need for the task in the first place?
I procrastinated on doing my homework in high-school because I didn't see the point of doing it! (I still don't see the point of homework for school students.)
Some websites that I have looked at (and here I wish I had kept track of them all) have said that they think that procrastination is a mental health issue. I sort of agree, in that for some it is the result of a mental health issue, but I don't believe that procrastination is a mental health disorder in and of itself.
I plan on doing more research on this matter, because it seems to be something that comes up a lot, and a lot of people struggle with it.
If you are one of the many people who struggle in this or other areas of your life, please don't hesitate to contact me, I may be able to help you or I may be able to refer you to someone better suited to help you.
Monday, 11 December 2017
Christmas and the agony season
Christmas is just around the corner, and for many this is a good thing. But for many it isn't.
For many, Christmas and other holiday times are pure agony. They are the reminder that there just isn't enough money to go around and so Christmas is going to be sparse, again. Or it's a reminder that a loved one wont be in the family due to death or divorce or some other reason. For some it was a time when they couldn't escape the abuse at home and so instead of being fun Christmas and other holidays are times of emotional and physical pain and suffering.
There are so many people out there that suffer. So please, spare a thought to those who do suffer in silence, and often a hug and a listening ear can go a long way to easing the pain. There are some smiles that are out there that are only just covering the pain.
When you're out doing your Christmas shopping, slow down, take a look around you, life, for many is not all smiles and laughter!
For those of you suffering, remember there is help ... all you need to do is ask.
For many, Christmas and other holiday times are pure agony. They are the reminder that there just isn't enough money to go around and so Christmas is going to be sparse, again. Or it's a reminder that a loved one wont be in the family due to death or divorce or some other reason. For some it was a time when they couldn't escape the abuse at home and so instead of being fun Christmas and other holidays are times of emotional and physical pain and suffering.
There are so many people out there that suffer. So please, spare a thought to those who do suffer in silence, and often a hug and a listening ear can go a long way to easing the pain. There are some smiles that are out there that are only just covering the pain.
When you're out doing your Christmas shopping, slow down, take a look around you, life, for many is not all smiles and laughter!
For those of you suffering, remember there is help ... all you need to do is ask.
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
Progress...
Today I feel good! I've made progress! It's amazing how completing something makes me feel good, happy, excited and energetic. I do have to be careful because this can lead to me overdoing things and becoming exhausted!
Progress is a good thing, when it's linked to goals!
Completing goals is a huge boost to your wellbeing!
I keep thinking about a gentleman that I know. He has dreams. But he has no goals on making those dreams a reality, so sooner or later his depression is going to hit him again, because of regrets. Regrets have a nasty habit of ushering in depression. I am saddened by this mans current outlook on life. It could be so much better for him.
I have found that having reminders in my calendar helps me so much, because then I can click done and at the end of the day my calendar says that I've completed however many reminders! That is a good feeling!
Procrastination, I have found also seems to lead to regrets and depression! "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!" isn't exactly the way to do things!
Often times life is living on a knife edge. It's a delicate balance! I know that I could so easily slip into depression, which leads (for me) to procrastination, regrets, more depression and then suicide ideation. Not a nice path. This is why I celebrate my small successes and my progress! Because I am recognising that I am moving towards my long held dream and slowly making it reality!
What about you? DO you have a long held dream that you'd like to make into a reality? If you need help doing this then I suggest you stop by here and make an appointment to see me!
Progress is a good thing, when it's linked to goals!
Completing goals is a huge boost to your wellbeing!
I keep thinking about a gentleman that I know. He has dreams. But he has no goals on making those dreams a reality, so sooner or later his depression is going to hit him again, because of regrets. Regrets have a nasty habit of ushering in depression. I am saddened by this mans current outlook on life. It could be so much better for him.
I have found that having reminders in my calendar helps me so much, because then I can click done and at the end of the day my calendar says that I've completed however many reminders! That is a good feeling!
Procrastination, I have found also seems to lead to regrets and depression! "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!" isn't exactly the way to do things!
Often times life is living on a knife edge. It's a delicate balance! I know that I could so easily slip into depression, which leads (for me) to procrastination, regrets, more depression and then suicide ideation. Not a nice path. This is why I celebrate my small successes and my progress! Because I am recognising that I am moving towards my long held dream and slowly making it reality!
What about you? DO you have a long held dream that you'd like to make into a reality? If you need help doing this then I suggest you stop by here and make an appointment to see me!
Saturday, 21 October 2017
The Last Few Months... STRESS!!!!
What a challenge these last few months have been. I've been stressed out of my skull! (Yes, even counsellors get stressed out!!)
I've had my father move in, started a Micro Business Management course, registered my business name (now Sanctuary Counselling is formally known as Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy), registered a domain name, set up a client booking thing, filled in an application to go to Uni, re-written my business plan for the umpteenth time, helped (in an ongoing manner) an organisation get itself started, being a PA for another lady, and decided that weight loss is a good idea!
When it's all written down like that it doesn't sound like much, but my father has been one stress after another!
Getting my business name was a stressful day - I originally just wanted Sanctuary Counseling, but that was taken. The consultancy part is something I wanted to add in a few years time! But, it seems that plans change! I still cant believe that it took half a day to get it sorted out!
My domain name was a near crisis too, that is if it wasn't for Ferdi at HostPapa! I'm not even looking at building my website just yet! I'm still yet to work out how to get and email address sorted!
My client booking thing has taken several days and several headaches to get my head around!
In all of this I began to wonder what I was doing! Where did my self care go and why was I so stressed? At my course, we talked about stress and I had the opportunity to speak about the physiological issues it causes, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, stress hormones that are just down right nasty, among other things, we talked about recognising the signs and symptoms of stress, managing stress and different techniques that one can use to manage and reduce stress... Yet, here I was in the midst of all that I was doing feeling and ignoring the very things I myself had spoken about!
Ok, it's time for a change...
So, myself and two other board members of GINC Inc. have made a contract. An Exercise and Lifestyle Wellbeing Contract! It's a doozy! But we decided to do it because some of us what to loose weight, save money, reduce smoking, and a few other things!
When we prove to ourselves that it is doable (which I believe it is), then it will be on offer when Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy and GINC Inc. begin our Women's Empowerment Group in January!
I'm looking at what we have to do to get that organised, and my first thought was "more stress"!!
However, I have a plan to tackle my stress! I've been spending the last few days rewriting it!
And that's the point. When life gets too much, one has to take a step back and have a good look at why you're stressed.
Did I take on too much? No, I just wasn't fully prepared for it! And it's not too late to re-evaluate our lives! Taking one day at a time helps too!
When I asked myself why I was stressed out of my skull, (elevated heart rate, higher than usual blood pressure, sleepless nights, added anxiety, irritability...) I discovered that it was due to neglecting my self-care plan! (That was "smart"!)
I am pleased to report that I'm getting back on track, and I've been to see my doctor, who is also supporting the changes I've made, after readjusting my self-care plan!
It can be done. Stress can be reduced.
If you need help reducing your stress levels, please click here to make a booking to see me! :)
I've had my father move in, started a Micro Business Management course, registered my business name (now Sanctuary Counselling is formally known as Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy), registered a domain name, set up a client booking thing, filled in an application to go to Uni, re-written my business plan for the umpteenth time, helped (in an ongoing manner) an organisation get itself started, being a PA for another lady, and decided that weight loss is a good idea!
When it's all written down like that it doesn't sound like much, but my father has been one stress after another!
Getting my business name was a stressful day - I originally just wanted Sanctuary Counseling, but that was taken. The consultancy part is something I wanted to add in a few years time! But, it seems that plans change! I still cant believe that it took half a day to get it sorted out!
My domain name was a near crisis too, that is if it wasn't for Ferdi at HostPapa! I'm not even looking at building my website just yet! I'm still yet to work out how to get and email address sorted!
My client booking thing has taken several days and several headaches to get my head around!
In all of this I began to wonder what I was doing! Where did my self care go and why was I so stressed? At my course, we talked about stress and I had the opportunity to speak about the physiological issues it causes, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, stress hormones that are just down right nasty, among other things, we talked about recognising the signs and symptoms of stress, managing stress and different techniques that one can use to manage and reduce stress... Yet, here I was in the midst of all that I was doing feeling and ignoring the very things I myself had spoken about!
Ok, it's time for a change...
So, myself and two other board members of GINC Inc. have made a contract. An Exercise and Lifestyle Wellbeing Contract! It's a doozy! But we decided to do it because some of us what to loose weight, save money, reduce smoking, and a few other things!
When we prove to ourselves that it is doable (which I believe it is), then it will be on offer when Sanctuary Counselling and Consultancy and GINC Inc. begin our Women's Empowerment Group in January!
I'm looking at what we have to do to get that organised, and my first thought was "more stress"!!
However, I have a plan to tackle my stress! I've been spending the last few days rewriting it!
And that's the point. When life gets too much, one has to take a step back and have a good look at why you're stressed.
Did I take on too much? No, I just wasn't fully prepared for it! And it's not too late to re-evaluate our lives! Taking one day at a time helps too!
When I asked myself why I was stressed out of my skull, (elevated heart rate, higher than usual blood pressure, sleepless nights, added anxiety, irritability...) I discovered that it was due to neglecting my self-care plan! (That was "smart"!)
I am pleased to report that I'm getting back on track, and I've been to see my doctor, who is also supporting the changes I've made, after readjusting my self-care plan!
It can be done. Stress can be reduced.
If you need help reducing your stress levels, please click here to make a booking to see me! :)
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